Isla Mujeres

After having such a hard year last year physically and mentally it was time to do something fun and cathartic. Having Cancer has robbed me of my femininity somewhat, I find it somewhat ironic to go to an island that is named for the virtility goddess statues that were found there when the Spanish discovered the new world. They called it the island of women.

I am sure I don't have to explain how much I want to swim in that turquoise water and how much I want to drink Margaritas on the beach. It is blatantly obvious that anyone who sees that image will want to do the same. If the image above hasn't done it, here are a few more..

I want to see the sun come up in the morning and I want to see it set in the evening. I want to go out and have dinner on Hildalgo and watch the people go by and most of all I want to savour each moment together with my man. To enable me to remember this for the rest of my life, I will document it here, on this blog with photographs and jealous making stories.

32 days to go!

The best movies of 2008

Well, isn't weird to not write anything for over four years and post two posts in one day? You may ask yourself why and I am going to tell you why. Just because I can!  

Here is my list of the best movies of the past year in no particular order.

The Curious Case of Benjamin Button -  What a movie. Beautiful, Tragic,  and reminds us to savour the moment as nothing lasts forever.  An epic movie.

The Dark Knight - Crazy, Wild and tragic. Reminds us to savour the moment as nothing lasts forever.

Slumdog Millionaire - It is a weird mix but it is exciting, riveting and the unknow actors are true stars.

In Bruges - The movie that dictated where I wanted to spend my summer holiday. Beautiful city but the movie is better.

El Orfonato - It was from 2007 but I saw it this year. Scary and terribly sad.

Il y a longtemps que je t'aime - Kristen Scott Thomas is one of my favourite actresses. She is so wonderful in this movie that, even drab and understated, she absolutely lights up the screen. She would keep my interest reading the phonebook. 

Let the right one in - Atmospheric, sweet and horrible set in a drab Swedish Suburb. It captured my heart. 

I may add and change later.

A New Beginning

2009, Ne'er before a more promising year for disaster, poverty and renewed chances. I am actually releshing it, the latter of course, not only because my desire to write has come back with a vengeance but because of an assortment of creative expression that has been knocking, waiting for some attention. 

"Paint!", "Sew", "Write", are louder than, "Lose weight!", "Stop drinking!", "Exercise!", thankfully and as a new year resolution I have already undertaken two of the above.  

I know I am writing to no-one in particular anymore as the days of blogging and people being interested has long passed, if it every existed at all. None the less,  I have decided, in no uncertain terms, that anything I undertake this year will be for myself. If others attain joy from it, than even better but I am over the need to please others for recognition (okay not quite but it sounds good just saying it).

So I would like to wish myself a lot of creative joy for 2009 and may I produce some pleasing art in whatever form.

Yay!

Tile wisdom

In Holland we love putting little one liners on little delft blue tiles so we can hang them our walls to show people what our moral, spiritual and/or mental standpoint is. This is so ingrained into Dutch culture that we call armchair psychological affirmations and cliches 'Tile Wisdom' (Tegelgetjeswijsheid). It is a semi-derogatory term for something we all love doing. As we are all guilty of it it is strange that we look down on it. After all, in our mind it gives us instant wisdom, a sageness, a discerning panache. Admiring glances is what we all crave. "Wow, how could such a small head carry all that wisdom?" is what we hope people think of us.

The reality is of course totally different. Think Dr Phil. He is the patron saint of Tile Wisdom and don't we all despise him? Don't you just hate the person who has spewed another cliche, a-one-size-fits-all truism intended to make you feel better but totally misses the mark? Of course there are some that are fun and even profound but they are, in general, undervalued and overused.

However I do have a favourite as it really works for me:

"This too shall pass".

It is simple but puts in perspective a whole range of miserable events, feelings and thoughts and instantly makes me feel better. One point of caution: It should only be invoked when times are bad. When times are good it can have the exact opposite effect and plunge you into a deep, deep depression. It doesn't make it less true, of course and that is why it is so potent. A one-size-fits-all truism that is powerful because it is a fundamental truth. Everything passes. It is as certain as death and taxes (which in itself is worth a tile all by itself).

Here are a few one liners for you to enjoy:

Dyslexics are teople poo.

Does anal retentive have a hyphen?

If there is no God, who always pops up that next Kleenex?

Forget world peace; visualize using your turn signal.

Save the trees, wipe your butt with an owl.

Knowledge is power, and power corrupts. So study hard and be evil.

I am not infantile, you stinky poopyhead.

Your stupid!

Never knock on Death's door. Ring the bell and run, he hates that.

What if the hokey pokey is really what it's all about?

Rap is to music as Etch-A-Sketch is to art.

Warning: Dates on calendar are closer than they appear.

Whatever kind of look you were going for, you missed.

I'm trying to imagine you with a personality.

I'm not tense, just terribly, terribly alert.

Stress is when you wake up screaming and you realize you weren't asleep.

I can't remember if I'm the good twin or the evil one.

You say I'm a bitch like it's a bad thing?

The trouble with the gene pool is that there's no lifeguard.

If going to church makes you a Christian, does going into a garage make you a car?

Some people are only alive because it is illegal to shoot them.

You're just jealous because the voices only talk to ME.

Hang up and drive.

Ever stop to think, and forget to start again?

All I ask is the chance to prove that money can't make me happy

Karaoke bars combine two of the nation's greatest evils - people who shouldn't drink with people who shouldn't sing.

Never miss a good opportunity to shut up.

I doubt, therefore I might be.

And finally

Carpe Diem!

Just when you thought it was safe...

Dear god! How long has it been since I last wrote a few words that didn't have the words turquoise, necklace or stunning in it... Well I can't remember and certainly this instance doesn't count either if we take the preceding sentence in account. (see my other blog juliet2.blogspot.com)

It certainly has been long. Too long and I feel neglectful, slovenly and just plain awful for not writing. I started this blog nearly one year ago. I thoroughly enjoyed writing and I am actually a bit impressed when reading it all back. Not embarrassed as when I hear my voice on my voicemail or previous recorded film on video. I must have had some clear and concise thoughts once upon a time which have unfortunately left me. For me now it is all gold that glitters.. Filled gold... with gem beads...

The jewellery business has been lucrative. It has been a great creative outlet for me and I love it still but writing is something that is universal. Something that cuts across the genders (I still have to find a straight guy who gives a a genuine flying feck about what I make) and across nations. If I look back to who read my blog and I am flattered.

So my September resolution is to at least write something once a month. To lose a bit of weight and to give up drinking ( a little bit)..

Well until then.. .cheers and bottoms up..

Nuuu Yaaawk

A great town. I am just back from it this week. I had a weekend on my own there. I would say there is nothing sadder than seeing a party town on your own and have no-one to share it with. To make up for this loss, I pretended that I lived there. A ploy that fooled a few clueless tourists who tried to get directions from me. "Where is Canal Street?" a group of girls asked me who were clearly there to have a good time. Well, were were in midtown and I knew that Canalstreet is located in Chinatown/Little Italy, a long way away. I directed them to the nearest sub-way to get the train to downtown. I felt good. I pretended that I was a Nuuu Yaawker and I fooled them all.. whoahahahaha.. I walked on, with a mission, -obviously- on my way to somewhere very new yorkish and important, secretly looking sky-wards from behind my shades. When I took pictures, I did this secretly and very inconspiciously. If I couldn't I hid behind some tourist to throw 'em off.. Now, I am totally aware that I seem a little whoooo crazy.. I mean, who CARES?? Well the little voice in my head cares... the one that tells me that I am really uncool and pathetic if I am -just- a tourist.



Nonetheless, I have to be honest to say that I am really at home in new york... I like it. I love the decay, the gaudiness of timesquare, the wonderful beaux arts architecture, the Norma Desmond-ness of it all. Past glory. When I am there I feel sadness and gladness at the same time. You just haven't lived unless you have seen the skyline at night. It is just breathtaking and so exciting.


The reason why I haven't been blogging is because I have started something new. My own jewellery line. I make jewellery and I spend all my time making, designing, researching and luckily selling. It makes me happy but it leaves me with little time to do anything other than that. I will keep writing but I won't be as prolific..

It will be a little like past glory.. How very Norma Desmond..

Kabbalah Kablahblah?

I am trying to get some spiritual balance in my life. I have tried to find god when I was in my twenties but after seeing babies suffer in some far flung land, I had sort of renounced my beliefs as it were. So despite this I am still intrigued by Kabbalah.

As an avid Heat reader (a guilty sin..one of many. My IQ actually drops 20 points when I read it), I have noticed that among the hollywood elite a fair share wear those red Kaballah ribbon/string bracelets. Of course, the most famous patron of this ancient spiritual teaching is of course Madonna, aka Esther, aka iron lady (oh no.. wrong Madge). Now this doesn't mean that we know anything more about this religion, Mystic teaching or whatever it may be. It seems to be shrouded in mystery .

Now apparently, you don't have to be Jewish to receive its teachings but that depends whom you speak to. Madonna was not Jewish, but does her name change attest that she has now converted to Judaism? Also, you don't have to be a man to be able to practice Kabbalah but again, that depends on whom you ask. Now, last time I looked Madge had developed some mean looking, scary muscles so I am not too sure what has been going on there. The having of children seems to indicate that she is indeed still a woman.

If you want to have someone teach you Kabbalah, you will have a hard time finding a teacher. They do not advertise and there are not many who are willing to take on people willy nilly. The tradition goes that if you are ready one will appear. Despite my jests I am intrigued and I wonder if it would be for me. I love mysteries and although I am pretty sure that god, if he exists, was throwing a major tantrum on Boxing day, he is pretty much AWOL. It makes me not like him very much. Maybe he didn't get what he wanted...

Blaspheming aside... I want one of those evil eye warding-off bracelets. I could do with some good luck for me and my family. Perhaps, learning Hebrew and converting to Judaism is taking it a bit far for a bit of red string, but I guess the root of it all is that I want to know what it is all about. I also wonder if you have more peace when you are religious or really believe in something. I just do not know what that feels like.

Then again, I already have an evil eye warder-offer in my house, brought back from a holiday in Turkey. The jury is still out if it has done anything at all since I got it. I do look at it sometimes to see if it blinks but it never does. It stares unabated into the distance with its blue, turquoise and black eye perhaps doing something, but who knows? That is my problem with these claims. How do you know that the bad luck that befell you would not have happened if you were wearing a Kabbalah bracelet or had a Nazar Boncuk hanging in your house?

I guess it come down to faith. I am faithlessly challenged.

Whatcha waiting for???

I am thoroughly embarrassed that I haven't even looked at my blog for nearly a month. So bad. So bad.... It got to a stage I didn't dare look at it. Noone wants to be confronted with their failings and I have to be the least of them.

I must say that besides Christmas day, this past month has been the worst of this year. Terrible things have happened all over the world and bad things have been happening with me as well.

I have found my limit career-wise. I was always skimming around the edges, the borders of my capabilities and I have now reached them. My body is also protesting. "Here and no futher" it seems to be saying. Mind you, there is no physical work involved... it is not like I am in a chain gang, or anything. I guess you would find your career limits fairly rapidly in a chain gang.. I mean, there is the end of the chain or the top of the chain. Big deal!

Finding my limit has been a very disappointing experience. I feel deflated and beaten. Panicked even. There is no resignation there but actual fear. I am scared because there is no longer any growth left and that I am judged for it. I am beaten.

Well now I have decided I am going to embark on another venture to find myself. I am going to use my talents and my love for baubles and sparkly things. I am going to be a professional magpie and hopefully sell off some of my creations.

I have already sold some stuff (okay it was to my mother, grandmother and colleague) and I am happy. I feel divided therefore. Part of me is very happy.. the other miserable and feels worthless.

Give it a few months and I will tell you what the valid feeling is. There is more money going out than coming in, but at least I am trying.

Well gotta go.. got some reading up to do!!!